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Ashley Ryder

Intrusive Thoughts, Postpartum OCD

Postpartum OCD, Intrusive Thoughts and Recovery

I decided to share my story because I want you to know you are not alone.

I was 26. I had just given birth to my first born, a boy. He was a 
baby who had been prayed for and yearned for, and waited for through the heartache and tears of two miscarriages. It should have been the
 happiest time in my life. I remember the first vivid intrusive thought. It was my first week 
home alone with him. I was cooking. He was laying in his infant seat 
in the kitchen. I had a flash of accidentally dropping my knife and 
hurting him. Immediately, the thought morphed into my stabbing him on 
purpose. Panic rushed in. I was hot and shaky. Terrified. I cried out 
to God to protect my son from me.

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