OCD

Free at last

This is what specifically worked for me and still does to this day (it’s been like 10 years!)

Okay relax dude, you’re not gay, trust me. This is just a hurdle you’re going to conquer. I did it and you definitely can too.

So I had this HOCD for like, I don’t know, 5–10 years!!!…It was horrid!..I even went to a ‘coming out’ group but was asking ‘how do I really know if I’m really gay?…This one gay guy was like if you look at another man’s ass and are like yeah…check that out.. But I was like, well that doesn’t do it for me but I’m still stressing out. I even made myself look at gay porn but still was not with it. I was seeing dicks everywhere at times, I was like Jonah Hill in the movie Superbad, it was not fun at all. Kind of funny now though.

I mean we can condition ourselves to like fucking anything really if we wanted to right? I’ve slept with many women since an early age so if anything I was like I could be possibly bi but it just didn’t seem genuine. I’m kind of an artist and my dad wasn’t around so much when I was younger so the mind tends to look for reasons and connections to tie into especially about everything you’re scared of. I went to multiple therapists, took self-improvement seminars…I wanted to be done with it!! Until I finally came to something that worked!! Here it is my lucky friends. Hope this frees you!!!! FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST…Try this shit out and welcome aboard of leaving that nonsense behind you…

I finally came across a CBT therapist where we did ‘Exposure Therapy’ (as mentioned in the other write-up) and this was indeed the cure! This is what specifically worked for me and still does to this day (it’s been like 10 years!). Whenever I feel a trigger like anything gayed up or other & feeling anxious (I hardly do anymore), I will just imagine or pretend that I am gay for like a few minutes in my mind..Just tell yourself ‘okay I guess I will be gay for a day’ and just IMAGINE it but make it comical…At first I think I did it for like 20–30 minutes or it could’ve been longer (I don’t remember) just at my house…Just be like (say to yourself) ‘HEY… let’s go shoe shopping’ (with a lisp)…make it funny man… And once you kind of try it on and don’t resist it …it let’s go and it’ll fade out. Embrace it here and there (but you still know that you’re not) but you’re just imagining it / pretending as like an exercise like you’re an actor. Try a CBT therapist for guided exposure therapy if you don’t get relief after a while, it’s painless and confidential so don’t worry about going.

It’s the fearful association that keeps the attachment to it. I think every guy goes through this at some time. Why wouldn’t we, it’s scary shit once we see it’s a possibility or are around it at some point.. but it’s like a growing pain that can happen really at any time in your life. The mind needs to hash it out. It’s surfacing for you to be healed friend. If you were gay, you wouldn’t be here stressing about it, you’d probably be wondering how to connect with other gay men instead. Our mind finds shit that’s scary and dwells on it until it’s boring then looks for something else…There’s a few TV shows & movies that made me feel better too: I remember George in Seinfeld got a massage from a guy and his dick moved and so he got all freaked out that maybe he was secretly gay.

In Everybody loves Raymond, he was questioning his heterosexuality on one episode which was really funny (maybe search on youtube) and then there’s the movie, 40 yr old virgin, the scene, “ You know how I know your gay..” which all makes light of this problem and proves most guys go through this at some point. Hope this helps.

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