In episode 103 I wanted to take the time to share with you my plans for 2018. I find that you guys help me shape the show, so I want to be more transparent with you. In this episode I talk about the new site (not built yet), why I decided to shut down my personal YouTube channel, my aims to do more face to face meet ups with listeners around the world, The OCD Camp, guests and doing more with Patreon. Enjoy!
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Though at points I paint a negative picture I believe in the absolute core of my being that OCD is something anyone can recover from and is ultimately not something I’d trade for the world.
Here is my account of what it’s like to live with OCD. I hope to express myself as honestly as I can. Over the years of recovery, I’ve had to open up about the nature of my OCD through productive discussions with cognitive behavioural therapists and reassurance seeking questions directed towards friends and my long suffering parents. As a result, I now feel able to discuss some of my intrusions on The OCD Stories. I’ll begin by briefly describing my childhood experiences with OCD, my thoughts on CBT, and finally where I am now. Though at points I paint a negative picture I believe in the absolute core of my being that OCD is something anyone can recover from and is ultimately not something I’d trade for the world.
When I was nine my parents moved to Bristol and I was placed in a large school named Clifton College. Moving from a 100-person village school to Bristol was an overwhelming experience. I was picked on endlessly and attempted to isolate myself as best as I could. In my experience children are capable of immense cruelty towards each other, acting as a group to pick on the weakest or the perceived weakest. I can only speculate but I believe this experience acted as a trigger for my OCD and has shaped me significantly. OCD is about control. We attempt to control our thoughts, actions and environment all in a hopeless attempt to reduce the uncertainty. OCD takes over your life, by telling you what to do, promising to make things better but ultimately reneges on every deal it makes. Despite promising you that this is the last piece of reassurance it needs, it always demands more, growing each time you entertain it.