Podcast

OCD Charities: OCD Action

In episode 72 I interview Olivia Bamber from the charity OCD Action. Olivia is the media and communications officer for the charity.

Olivia Bamber OCD Action

I had a good chat with Olivia. She shared her OCD story, and her experiences on the BBC documentary Extreme OCD Camp. We discussed the importance of putting effort into therapy, the services the charity offers: phone/email support, the buddy program etc. Olivia talked about fundraising for the charity and not letting OCD hold you back. Hope it helps!

podcast

To listen on iTunes click the button, or go to iTunes and search “The OCD Stories“. If you enjoy the podcast please subscribe and leave a review. It helps us reach more people who need to hear these remarkable stories of recovery!

You can also listen on Android and over devices through most podcast apps, such as Stitcher.

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OCD, Relationship OCD

Lessons learned from Relationship Focused OCD

I encourage you to find a therapist who you connect with, and fight to get to the other side! You are worthy!

My first day of my first experience in intensive therapy I was asked to write down my thoughts one day from wake to sleep. I kid you not, by 9am I wrote “exhausted and yawning” (I had gotten up at 6:30). I looked at the journal and realized it was literally one page of thoughts already (probably more but I didn’t want to write it all) and it had only been 2.5 hours. These thoughts consumed about 95% of my day, and were draining me. I felt like I needed to find answers, but at the same time I didn’t know where to go, knew there weren’t actual answers, and part of me didn’t even feel like I needed any. I was trapped.

“Who do I want to be with? What if she isn’t the right person? What if I should be with a guy? But, wait, I have been with guys… How did I feel? Is that who I see myself with? Was it different from this? Should I try again? It’s expected of me. How should I feel? What if I doubt this and can’t commit? Does this feel right? Am I sexually attracted? But emotional means more to me…but you just doubted sexually so what about that?…  What is life? Do I want to be here? What if that car hits me as I get out of my car to get the mail?  Would I care? This is too much to deal with. What if my family never accepts me being with a girl? If they doubt it, maybe I am wrong. How do I know? What makes me happy? Should I move or try to go out more? No but that’s not who I am, but who am I? But wait, I want to be with her but do I need to explore myself more before committing? How do I know? I want to be with her. I had never acted this way with anyone else: losing track of time or had 7 hours feel like 1, sharing as much as I did with someone, yet my brain kept fighting me! I wasn’t used to this feeling. Comfort, calm, connection, and oh wait love–no, never! With a girl…was this right? Did I really feel this way? What if I am wrong?”

This is maybe two minutes of a day’s worth of thinking. Believe me it went on and on, uncontrolled, exhausting, circuitous, torturous circles of mental rumination. It tore me to pieces. I could go on and on, but you get the point. The answers weren’t there; the internal dialogue and questioning never ceased, and I couldn’t escape.

Our brain loves uncertainty and just following human nature, if you feed it, it gets hungry for more. OCD hits ya where it matters most (for me: relationships). I was tortured, stuck in my head, silently screaming so loudly that some days you could hear it through my smiles. I would ask friends, talk incessantly about the topic, but that was only temporary reassurance and fuel for the OCD cycle. The thoughts would only return a few minutes later, leaving me right back to where I started (fun, right?).

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Podcast

Nature and Growing Positive Mental Health

In episode 71 I talk about nature and its positive impacts on mental health. In the last century we have spent less time in nature, and I believe this has had a negative impact on our mental health. In this episode I talk about my experiences around how nature has helped my mental well-being, as well as drawing findings from studies on nature and mental health. I share some tips for spending more time in nature. Enjoy!

podcast

To listen on iTunes click the button, or go to iTunes and search “The OCD Stories“. If you enjoy the podcast please subscribe and leave a review. It helps us reach more people who need to hear these remarkable stories of recovery!

You can also listen on Android and over devices through most podcast apps, such as Stitcher.

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OCD

Conquering my battle

I want you to please know that you are never alone, there are so many people who really do understand what you are going through

I often find myself awake at night with my eyes full of tears, crying out to God asking him, “Why? Why do I have to lie here in panic, why do I have to spend every waking second of my days full of anxiety?” We can ask God that question all we want, but the whole time the answer is right there in front of our eyes. What’s the answer? The answer is that life is full of battles, hardships,and trials, life is not perfect and it was never meant to be. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you can stop asking the question why and start accepting the battle that you were given to fight, even when you feel as if you can’t fight anymore. God only gives you what you can handle and with knowing that, you can know that you can conquer any hardship that comes your way.

This past year I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Anxiety, and Depression. I think I always knew from a young age that I dealt with these disorders, but it wasn’t until now that I decided to do something about it. If you let these disorders go unhelped they only get worse and you eventually find yourself crying out for help.

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Intrusive Thoughts

It started with a thought

Hello My Name is Martin Garcia and I’m 20 years old (College Student). It all started in January of 2017. I was watching the show “The Excorist” and I remember in that show there was a daughter killing her mom and it was a cliff hanger and I finished the whole season of that show. After watching that show, an hour later I was watching some wrestling and I got hungry and I go to the kitchen and now it’s like 2 in the morning and I didn’t want to get yelled at by my parents so my plan was to get something to eat and run to my room. I go get an orange, since I don’t have nails, I took a knife because I didn’t know how to peel it. I’m going to the hallway and I see my parent’s room because it’s rarely closed and I was thinking “why is it closed?” and I just had a thought, one of me killing my mom and I had this feeling where I only get it when I want to do stupid stuff like jumping from couches and doing wrestling moves, and I got that daring feeling to do that to my mom so then I got scared because I first thought I was possessed but then I shook it off because I thought it wasn’t real, so next I called my girlfriend and she tells me it’s real. That’s when it really started because I didn’t sleep that day and it just was in my mind. I was waiting for it to go away but it didn’t and it lasted a while before I told my parents, it literally lasted a week before I told my parents and then the next day was the worst ever. I ended up in the emergency room and I talked to the crisis team and they helped out a little. There were days when I couldn’t take it because I had the urge to do it and I would cry at times because my life went through hell, I would still go to school but there is times when I couldn’t because of my head hurting and thoughts but I toughed it out.

So after that I went to Psychiatrist and had offered Prozac and Olanzapine and Honestly that made me feel worst, so I told him to change it to zoloft and he did. I felt a lot of better but I ended up changing psychiatrists and she put me on zoloft but more dosage. Its been better lately because I have the support of my girlfriend, she got me through it and gave me hope.

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Podcast

OCD Charities: The IOCDF

In episode 70 I talk with Jeff Szymanski and Ethan Smith of the International OCD Foundation (IOCDF). Jeff is the executive director of the charity and clinical psychologist. Ethan is an ambassador for the charity and a professional Writer/Director/Producer/Actor. This interview is one of a three part series of OCD charities. The goal is to find out more about what services they have, and how you can get involved.

Ethan and Jeff IOCDF

Picture credit: Alison Dotson

We talk about stigma and how to break it down, the charity, the services the IOCDF offer, the term OCDvocate, their annual OCD conference, finding the right therapist and how you can get involved. Enjoy!

podcast

To listen on iTunes click the button, or go to iTunes and search “The OCD Stories“. If you enjoy the podcast please subscribe and leave a review. It helps us reach more people who need to hear these remarkable stories of recovery!

You can also listen on Android and over devices through most podcast apps, such as Stitcher.

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Podcast

OCD recovery is a marathon

In episode 69 I share some of my thoughts on the marathon I ran recently for OCD UK and how these thoughts could inspire you further in your recovery. I also discuss the “I’m so OCD” debate – a hot topic. I “rant” about how people engage more with this debate than they do with recovery focused content that will lead them out of pain and into their best life yet. Remember this “where focus goes, energy flows” – Tony Robbins. Spend your time on content, and things that will help you recover, not make you angry. With love, Stu. 

podcast

To listen on iTunes click the button, or go to iTunes and search “The OCD Stories“. If you enjoy the podcast please subscribe and leave a review. It helps us reach more people who need to hear these remarkable stories of recovery!

You can also listen on Android and over devices through most podcast apps, such as Stitcher.

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OCD

The OCD Burglar

I would urge anyone that has identified with anything I’ve spoken about to seek advice and talk to someone.

MY OCD STORY

I’ll set the scene. I’m sat here in bed, slightly intoxicated, listening to Celine Dion. I’ve just read my best friend Joe’s ‘coming out’ story. Scrolling through – there is a section about his mental health and suffering with OCD. I knew that he’d had OCD when he was younger as we’ve discussed it before – we’ve joked about what our symptoms and triggers were. In his story, Joe describes OCD as a mental health disorder. I have never considered my OCD as a mental health issue because I was so young when I had it and it was never referred to in that way around me. During a time when mental health is being discussed much more openly, I feel like sharing my OCD symptoms and triggers may help other people that have also found themselves involved in it.

DISCLAIMER – WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IS COMPLETELY TRUE, HOWEVER UNTRUE IT MAY SOUND. THESE WERE REAL EXPERIENCES AND ACTUAL THOUGHTS THAT HAPPENED IN MY ACTUAL HEAD.

THE BEGINNING

I don’t remember the exact age when my compulsions started but I remember it being at the end of junior school and the beginning of high school (around 10-11 years of age). I have always been terrified of being burgled. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to think back to where that fear has come from but it’s a struggle to pin point a particular event that may have triggered it. I remember watching the Danny Boyle film ‘Million’ which features a scene where a burglar comes through an attic hatch into a boys bedroom. This could very well have been the start, but I can’t blame Danny for the whole thing, I’m sure there was more to it. We also had our garage broken into a couple of times, which scared me witless, but never our house. I think the fact that it had never happened made me even more scared that it was still to come.

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Podcast

Your ERP Questions Answered – Part 1 with Shala Nicely

To get Jeff and Shala’s OCD course with 25% off, click here >>

In episode 68 of the podcast I interviewed Shala Nicely. Shala is an anxiety disorders treatment specialist in Atlanta, co-founder of beyondthedoubt.com and co-author of the forthcoming book, “Everyday Mindfulness for OCD”. 

Shala Nicely

I got Shala on the show to answer some of your ERP questions. I asked the community what their ERP questions were. 36 people answered, with a collective 78 questions. This is part one in answering these questions. Enjoy!

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OCD

I refuse to…

I am learning to trust I have the ability to deal with the worries and ‘what if’s’ if they became true.

I have OCD. Contamination OCD.

It has taken me many years to write those words without feeling crippling shame or performing a humorous apology. I have embraced the fear and vulnerability and I have found strength and power.

Today I feel healthy: managing my thoughts and doing the work to succeed in recovery. I have dug deep and swam into the dark pockets of my psyche to understand the reasons my OCD manifested. I know the theory of how to heal, so, emotionally I continue to carve a new path of newly created thought patterns. Patterns of understanding and truth and self-care. Patterns that will serve the self of today not the lost and fragile girl of the past.

Trauma and grief I believe are the cause of this dance with OCD.

I have not had any more or any less of these two emotions or experiences than the next person. I have experienced things in my life however that caused me pain and I did not know where to put the hurt that these moments created so I suffocated my grief and my shock and it became fear.

People are fragile and they break. Hearts can hold so much but there needs to be an outlet and everyone’s outlet is different and specific to them. OCD became my friend and my enemy. My protector and my abuser.

My OCD was born with the sudden death of my beloved mother.

It was fed and nurtured by a stint in a U.S jail and a horrific deportation experience, reckless drunken behaviour, leading to regret, guilt, doubt and shame and the need for there to be consequences. My OCD, in part, caused the shocking breakdown of my marriage and took nourishment from it.

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