It’s not your or someone else’s fault that you have OCD

I noticed my OCD for the first time when I was 14 (now I am 27), but now I understand that it actually started much earlier, it just didn’t spoil my life yet that much.

It was a very hard experience for teenage me as I knew nothing about this disorder, that’s why I was thinking either my soul was captured by demons or my mind just went crazy. I was afraid that something horrible has happened to me that never happened to anyone else in this world, so I didn’t tell any person, even the closest ones, about my condition and my fears, and it was a huge everyday stress that was making my OCD only harder day by day.

After a few years, I got to know about OCD from some film on TV and I told my boyfriend that I have the same thing. For sure, he didn’t react aggressively or in any other negative way, he just asked me, why I didn’t tell him about this before, as we talk about everything. I was so relieved by telling someone about my rituals and other things and by knowing that I am not the only one in this worLd with this disorder and it even has a name.

So I started trying to cure it with doctors and without them, I’ve tried a lot of different methods and I am happy to say that now I feel free from OCD. I still have my favourite and hated numbers and there appear some symptoms when I get stressed or tired but they are very easy to cope! I am not sure which of the methods worked actually, I think that it’s the result of a combination of many of the methods.

One of my favourite methods against OCD was meditation. I meditate quite rarely now as it already has worked, so I can handle my calm and happy condition without everyday meditation.

If one day you decide to try meditation for dealing with your OCD, remember that it can be very hard during the first few weeks and try not to stop. When I just started my meditation I became so weepy and nervous, I didn’t know what to do, but I think those were just some old emotions that needed to get free, because after 2-3 weeks everything has changed cardinally and I noticed the first results, the rituals started to lose their importance for me.

But though the meditation worked very good, I am sure that it wouldn’t work alone, it needs to be combined with some other methods. And you should never forget to have rest when you need it and to eat properly. In my opinion, that’s the basis. Oh, and it’s also very important to be kind to yourself. So many people reproach themselves for having OCD and making the rituals, and I was one of such people. But if you think a little deeper and not so emotionally about that, you understand that there is nothing to be reproached for. It’s not your or someone else’s fault that you have OCD like it’s not someone’s fault when you have diabetes or psoriasis, you just have it, that’s all. And again, reproaching makes your stress harder, so the symptoms of your OCD get harder, too. So I beg you to be kind to yourself.

As I was struggling with OCD for many years and I know how hard it can be, I feel all the people with OCD as my sisters and brothers, and I am so happy that I can share my story with you all and maybe help you with some of my thoughts. I hug you all!

Thanks!
Hanna

My guide for dealing with OCD: https://www.solutionbay.com/solutions/obsessivecompulsive-disorder-ocd