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She has confirmed to me time and time again that no one in the history of OCD has ever actually acted on these intrusive thoughts

Like many, my OCD reared it’s ugly head when I was a teenager in the form of Pure O, or harm OCD.  At the time I had no idea what OCD was, there certainly was no Google back then, and sincerely thought I was losing my mind.  I certainly didn’t want to talk to anyone about the intrusive thoughts so I kept the torment to myself. I remember in the late 80s being in our kitchen with the Phil Donahue show playing on the tv and only half listening until I realized there were people on this show discussing exactly what I was going through.  It was like an elephant being lifted off my chest and I cried many tears of relief as I listened to other stories and finally understood what I had was just a horrible condition that affected many.

I have thought at the worst times that I would rather have terminal cancer than this disorder, because at least only myself would have the chance of being harmed in that scenario.  The cruelty of this illness seems to me to be one of the worst illnesses that can affect a human, but I know there is hope in the form of reaching out for help.

My sister also has pure o, which certainly makes me agree that this is a hereditary condition, and has made it her life’s work to help those with OCD and mental illness.  She’s the community mental health nurse in our home town and she has been a light to me as I can discuss how I’m truly feeling with her and she understands as she has battled with it herself, and functions normally with the help of cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) herself.  She has confirmed to me time and time again that no one in the history of OCD has ever actually acted on these intrusive thoughts, which is a comfort to me, and should be for anyone reading this who is suffering from this nasty b*stard of an illness.

God bless all of you out there who are going through the pain and torment of OCD.  ♥


Comments (1)
  1. Constance,

    Thanks so much for your post. I can’t tell you the relief I felt when I read what your sister told you. “no one in the history of OCD has ever actually acted on these intrusive thoughts.” I also struggle with Harm OCD. It terrified me, as I’m not at all a violent person. I love the Lord and serving him in any way I can. I was seeing a therapist when the symptoms started out of no where almost a year ago. I was 49, this seemingly started out of no where. I think I was always OCD, but the intrusive thoughts made me painfully aware of it last year. Things were going great, but then out of no where, bang and intrusive thought came that tipped me back. Going to start seeing my therapist again and work with CBT and if necessary try medication. I’m so encouraged by your story and others I have read. I will fight my OCD. Thanks so much for your post. I welcome any suggestions from you as to therapy and fighting my Harm OCD.

    Thanks for sharing

    May God bless you and your sister

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