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Dear OCD,

You have been around for quite some time now for my son (now 22yrs old)…… I first noticed when he was 13yrs old, I thought it was just little fad he was going through. Bending down touching the floor, or the top of a fence or not walking on the cracks on the pavement.

You did that for 3yrs then on a holiday weekend it all came pouring. You could not cope anymore, you thought you were gay, a bad person, a really really bad person and would go to hell, you cried with fear. OCD gave you a breakdown! You were admitted to hospital and diagnosed with OCD…. You had continuous intrusive thoughts, sexual, violent, religious thoughts…. Your head was full…… I could visibly see your worry, your pain, your fear!!! But I was helpless and did not know what to do….. I cried with you, I tried to re-assure you….. I did the best I could.

After months of CBT and medication things calmed down, even though you still had the rituals, intrusive thoughts etc you seemed to be coping and very well at that. Then 2 days before Christmas we had a family bereavement….. You were destroyed….. It was then that the OCD saw its’ opportunity and ‘attacked’ you with all its’ might. You had had enough…. You took an overdose…. I was distraught. Thankfully you made a full recovery from the overdose. And the months that followed were probably the hardest me, you and your family have ever gone through. But we got there!!!! You now have a lovely girlfriend and things are going good, but every now and again when you seem to be at your happiest…. It’s there lingering, waiting to pounce….. It gives you doubts, it tells you that you have cheated, it tells you that you’re worthless.. We get through it again….. lets remember son….. It’s the OCD not you, and you make my life complete..

Love Mum x

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